Oh Ryan

Human emotions are too confusing; it’s no wonder people constantly misinterpret signals. Tears of sadness mistaken for joy and frightful screams interpreted as excitement. I learned this the hard way when I was mobbed by a hungry pack of tween girls looking for skater/MTV heartthrob, Ryan Sheckler.

After watching the mob for four days at the AST Dew Tour, I’ve complied a sliding scale of tween screams.

The area of the shaded space below the curve is equal to the irritation emitted from the sum total of screams.

Power behind a giant candy necklace

I’ve always wondered what the colored balls on the power lines were for. In case you were wondering too, they’re put on the wires so low flying planes don’t fly into the power lines, according to unreliable Internet sources.

Edward Scissorhands Lives

Evidence suggesting that Edward Scissorhands is alive was found near Garden World off of I5. Botanists say that the animal-shaped topiaries were altered by a creature yielding stainless steal scissors or shears. Conspiracy theorist say the animal bushes are a signature sign of Edward's work.

Evidence of a Famous J-Kid

While reading Hunter S. Thompson's The Rum Diary, I found a page devoted to history of the typeface used throughout the book. This ode to Berthold Walbaum, the type used in the book, is a true sign that Hunter S. Thompson was a journalism geek.

6 weeks of COLABORATORY in 5 min

A brief overview of how team Lattice tackled COLABORATORY.

I never realized how I use my hands when I talk until I was forced to watch endless footage of our team meetings, no wonder people always ask if I was in dramma in highschool.

Smart SWAG

I handed out these key chains/skateboards/bottle openers at the AST Dew Tour. It’s the first piece of SWAG I’ve seen with mass appeal. Kids love it because it’s a skateboard, parents and kids who think they’re too old for toys like it because it’s a bottle opener.

Wallflowers score free stuff

One Wallflower benefit that I forgot to mention in my “Crash Course Guide to the Wallflower,” is the Wallflower’s ability to scam.

While working at the Wendy’s booth at the AST Dew Tour, several young Wallflowers have scammed their way into over $80 in Wendy’s gift cards. We give the $5 gift cards out to kids who win the games, but we’re supposed to limit them to three wins. However, the kids with generic, mushy faces blur together in my mind and slide by with 16 wins.

Other career options for Wallflowers
1. Spy
2. Burglar
3. Stalker

I can't see the plastic on your shoulders

On my hour long MAX ride home from the AST Dew Tour today, I spotted a woman sporting the clear bra strap. The clear bra strap wins the award for dumbest invention ever. Clear isn’t the same thing as invisible ladies. I can still see your strap.

Falling off the line

Much like confidence and cockiness, I’ve found there is a fine line between being witty and snarky. Recently I’ve been mistaken for both.

Not buying it

While ripping pages out of an old school ad text book, Designing Retail Ads for Profit, by Paul S. Hirt, I came across this nugget.

"It's great to have a bright outlook on life, and to let the brightness shine in your writing. But you have to be careful with both humor and irony in ad writing. People are not looking for either in the ads, and are apt to take your jocose words seriously."

Looks like I need to switch career paths.

Branded Barf Bag

Sameunderneath is a brand that speaks to all people, despite their creed, class, region or ethnicity. As part of accepting people for all different walks of life, I created a Sameunderneath barf bag to help those who have both fear of public speaking and motion sickness.

Luckily no one needed the barf bag for our final COLABORATORY pitch yesterday.

Hazelnut Tech Talk

Twitter legend Bram Pitoyo and Cyborg Anthropologist Amber Case interviewed fellow COLABORATORY intern, Allison McKeever and me for their podcast, Hazelnut Tech Talk. Highlights include me complaining about my wildebeest of a computer and Allison enlightening us to the meaning behind the Triscuit cracker name.

Asterisk attacks city

Move over exclamation point because the asterisk is having the best week ever. From city streets, tagger's signatures and flower formations, the asterisk is taking Portland by storm.

360' tour of my COLABORATORY offices

Take a tour of the three different offices I've interned with through COLABORATORY: CMD, Fish Marketing and HMH. For a creative industry, there are a lot of browns and grays covering the office walls. Although it may have helped if I had taken the time to decorate my workspace. Anyone want to partner with me to make creative desks to spice up some offices? Maybe a desk that shoots out fortune cookies?

COLABORATORY word tag

My Wordle cloud for COLABORATORY.

I love using word clouds when writing tag lines. They force you to see connections between words that you won't make on your own.

Draw Circles with James Rice

James Rice of Ascentium shared advice about pitching ideas with the COLABORATORY teams.

1. Don’t waste time in biography introductions. Instead, tell me your time and title.

2. Focus on the future, not the past. Clients don’t care what you did yesterday for some other brand. Instead, they want to know what you will do for them and their brand in the future.

3. Strive for “Cowgirl in the sand” and avoid “Every Rose has a thorn.” Don’t state the obvious, instead share information with purpose. There’s a reason the cowgirl is in the sand, not dirt or mud.

4. Draw circles. Don’t just tell the client your idea; show it. Draw circle charts explaining your logic then point to them when you’re talking.

Creative Work Space

Whitney’s dad, Michael Bard, was kind enough to let team Lattice crash Studio Bard for a COLABORTORY work session last night. One thing I’ve learned through my COLABORATORY experience is that having a funky work space is important to get the creative juices flowing.

Take a look at Studio Bard’s mesmerizing ceiling fan.

These fans should be used as murder weapons in all new horror films. Watch as the blades scissor cut the air, or falling victims.

WANTED: dream job

Talking to president of HMH today, Ed Herinckx, showed me that I’m not a copywriter; I’m a dreamer. I like concepts, big ideas and asking “what if.” Sometimes it’s easier for other people to see what or who you are.

I should have realized my love of idea generation early on. I have 23 weddings planned, for 23 different couples, each wedding catering to the couple’s love story. Nonetheless, each fictitious wedding has a detailed agenda and “concept” for the event. Everything from mermaids in sea foam green sequin dresses to Arabian princesses emerging from giant flowers live on my list. Now I realize that they are all campaigns for lovers.

A Portrait of HMH

My frist day at HMH I was surprised to find more of my kind, other interns whom I can ask dumb questions.

As a "welcome to the team moment," every employee gets a professional portrait taken with a prop. Picking your prop is a way of giving yourself a label such as the math freak, flower child or avid texter.

Eight day interns don't get portraits, so I decided to make my own.

My prop: A cardboard cut out of my dearly departed kitty, TickleTail.
What it says about me: I'm an only child who grew up fantasizing about unicorns,friends and people who have siblings. I'm an optimist who holds on the the past and believes someday her kitty will come home.