Oh Ryan

Human emotions are too confusing; it’s no wonder people constantly misinterpret signals. Tears of sadness mistaken for joy and frightful screams interpreted as excitement. I learned this the hard way when I was mobbed by a hungry pack of tween girls looking for skater/MTV heartthrob, Ryan Sheckler.

After watching the mob for four days at the AST Dew Tour, I’ve complied a sliding scale of tween screams.

The area of the shaded space below the curve is equal to the irritation emitted from the sum total of screams.