Maine has the best signs.

I went to Maine and discovered some sweet tiny town writers. This water pitcher reads, "Do not drink this water. For messy ice cream faces."

The duck food/gumball machine is a pretty big deal in Camden, Maine. Read the sign posted above it:

"Corn and gumballs only.
Do not jiggle the knobs or you will be banished from the footbridge forever. Jiggling the knobs breaks the mechanism, and the ducks don't eat.
1 QUARTER
Camera surveillance by the North Cameden Bridge Police Lt. Randy.
Throw corn in shallow water or on shore. It doesn't float."

I wish everything was like this.