I went to Maine and discovered some sweet tiny town writers. This water pitcher reads, "Do not drink this water. For messy ice cream faces."
The duck food/gumball machine is a pretty big deal in Camden, Maine. Read the sign posted above it:
"Corn and gumballs only.
Do not jiggle the knobs or you will be banished from the footbridge forever. Jiggling the knobs breaks the mechanism, and the ducks don't eat.
Camera surveillance by the North Cameden Bridge Police Lt. Randy.
Throw corn in shallow water or on shore. It doesn't float."
I wish everything was like this.