Sunday, April 20, 2008
Facebookproof a Relationship
Thanks to facebook’s mini-feed, all of your friends are immediately notified when your boyfriend dumps you. Sometimes they even find out about the break up before you do. Facebook drastically changed the structure of a relationship.
“We’re official now, it’s on facebook,” said the girl to her friend on the bus. It’s true. A relationship is not real unless it’s certified, documented and hosted by facebook.
So how do you decide when you’re ready to take it to facebook?
1. You have a toothbrush at his/her house.
2. Your friends know his/her name.
3. You’re not afraid to let him/her see you naked.
You don’t want to be the first one to “add” the relationship to their page. That makes you look needy and clingy.
You have two choices:
a. Sit and wait for him to realize how much he loves you.
b. Get a life and stop caring.
(most girls pick the first)
Now how do I pick a title?
How can I pick one title that describes the vast inner workings of our relationship? You can’t, but here are a few tips.
1. Shy away from married or engaged. If you’re married, you shouldn’t have facebook, grow up. These titles are only to be seriously used by BYU students.
2. The “open relationship” title can be used as a safe bet when first listing the relationship in your profile. It says, “yes, I’m committed to you, enough to announce it to the world, but we’re not exactly going steady.”
BUT Beware of the clinger. She will not stand for this title and read it as an insult. In her mind, you became her boyfriend the moment she laid eyes on you, but she was too scared to post it on facebook. She’ll now stop talking to you for a week, and when you ask what’s wrong, she’ll say nothing.
In the end, the only way to avoid this relationship turmoil, is to remove your relationship status from your profile all together. Leave it as interested in men/women.