This internship could save your life.

My West Coast colleagues and I have devised the most amazing intern program you could ever imagine —The Cage.

Our comprehensive internship program will provide all qualified candidates with adequate in-office housing, three square meals a day and 24-hour access to all corners of our agency.

To be selected for The Cage, you must be:
1. Unwanted/at risk of being euthanized
2. A cat

Here's how it works:

We adopt cats that are about to be offed from shelters or streets and let them live in our office while we use our super sweet skills to get them adopted. We also go to fancy parties and talk about how our interns scratch and/or poop on the floor.

Maine has the best signs.

I went to Maine and discovered some sweet tiny town writers. This water pitcher reads, "Do not drink this water. For messy ice cream faces."

The duck food/gumball machine is a pretty big deal in Camden, Maine. Read the sign posted above it:

"Corn and gumballs only.
Do not jiggle the knobs or you will be banished from the footbridge forever. Jiggling the knobs breaks the mechanism, and the ducks don't eat.
1 QUARTER
Camera surveillance by the North Cameden Bridge Police Lt. Randy.
Throw corn in shallow water or on shore. It doesn't float."

I wish everything was like this.

My house is haunted.

I have really important things to do these days.

What could be better than this? Nothing.

As if drinking Sessions wasn’t fun enough, check out these sweet Rock, Paper and Scissors bottle caps the bottles boast. I picked these babies up off the ground so I don’t know if the beer is any good, but you should still probably buy it.

I also dog sit.

I finally have my own set of Megan trading cards, thanks to Moo. Find me in the real world, and I'll let you take a card home. Then you can call me, and we'll be best friends forever.

Little Shop vs. Big Agency**

I’ve been conducting a field study called little shop versus big agency. Every family has its pros and cons.

Here are a few things that I’ve noticed:

Situation 1: There is too much work and not enough people.
Small Agency: We’ll buy another French press. Every employee gets his/her own 64 oz. French press to increase productivity.
Big Agency: Let’s just re-skin something we used in an old pitch.

Situation 2: You want keys to your office.
Small Agency: You’re still an intern. No keys for you.
Big Agency: Your boss doesn’t know who you are. No keys for you.

Situation 3: You wrote something you really liked.
Small Agency: Your creative director rewrote it.
Big Agency: Your client rewrote it.

Situation 4: You have to send a mass email.
Small Agency: Get the intern to send the same email four hundred times.
Big Agency: Program a computer to do it.

Situation 5: You have to poop.
Small Agency: There’s only one bathroom, and everyone knows what’s going down. Be sure to use the lavender spray to cover up the evidence.
Big Agency: No one knows. The bathroom always smells like baby diaper.

**A nonscientific, made-up study.

You don't have to travel to send someone a postcard.

My friend sends me postcards from made-up vacations where he meets cat people. It makes me happy. Now you can enjoy them too.